oops...It has been over a year since I posted on here!
2010 proved to be a challenge:
bill got fired in february and we moved out of the apartment complex. We did find a cool rental near the parade route uptown. I love the location bt have come to the realization we will never be able to afford a home in this area. At least not now.
Bill did find another job, in property management, again. He is very good at what he does, but he works for a bitch. She is always getting after him for making mistakes.
I wish we could find a career for him that he at least likes...if not loves to go to every day.
I am still in insurance claims and like it a lot. Not sure I love it, but it is a good living.
Other than that, what else happened in 2010?
I lost 18 pounds and gained back 8. I am committed to losing 20 pounds this year.
We got a dog! We adopted a Soft-coated Wheaten Terrier named Barley and he is such a lovable baby! The vet thinks he is about 2. This morning we decided that January 2011 is his birthday month...Happy Birthday Barley!
We took in "friends"after they got evicted form their apartment, only to have them just about take over our apartment for 7 weeks. Lesson learned - teach your friend to fish and don't let them walk all over you.
My son, C, played baseball in the spring and the fall. His fall team won the league championship...VERY exciting!
Anything else was regular everyday "stuff"
here's to a wonderful 2011 and hopefully more blogging!
Monday, January 03, 2011
Sunday, December 20, 2009
reflections...
You could not have told me that moving back to New Orleans would have been a good idea.
It is still challenging though. Bill lets his company run him into the ground, they certainly don't pay him enough...but we at least get a two bedroom apartment for wicked cheap and we are not stuck in a lease. So there are some good points.
My job is going well. I've passed all my licensing tests and am officially a licensed Claims Adjuster in the state of Louisiana. My boss has assured me his job is to help me hit my goals which will help me get a raise. To be honest, I really hope he is right.
I never used to care about money. And part of me still doesn't, but it would be nice to have a little extra instead of needing to watch the budget every second. The good news about that is that in one year, my car will be paid off. In three years, we will be finished with child support for J and my credit cards should be paid off. Oh, and we'll have plenty of dough saved for a down payment.
I would love to buy a house now, but I just don't want to put us in a situation where we would be in a bind if one of us lost our job.
my ex and his wife are the types who spend money and buy bigger "stuff" because they feel that they "need" to. It's amusing and sick at the same time.
Today, it just all clicked. I love my husband, Bill and I adore my son, C. My stepdaughter J will probably never have the relationship with us that we so desire, but life is what it is. We may not be rich financially but we certainly don't need to act like we are. And, to anyone who feels like they need to "keep up", who are you keeping up with?
It is still challenging though. Bill lets his company run him into the ground, they certainly don't pay him enough...but we at least get a two bedroom apartment for wicked cheap and we are not stuck in a lease. So there are some good points.
My job is going well. I've passed all my licensing tests and am officially a licensed Claims Adjuster in the state of Louisiana. My boss has assured me his job is to help me hit my goals which will help me get a raise. To be honest, I really hope he is right.
I never used to care about money. And part of me still doesn't, but it would be nice to have a little extra instead of needing to watch the budget every second. The good news about that is that in one year, my car will be paid off. In three years, we will be finished with child support for J and my credit cards should be paid off. Oh, and we'll have plenty of dough saved for a down payment.
I would love to buy a house now, but I just don't want to put us in a situation where we would be in a bind if one of us lost our job.
my ex and his wife are the types who spend money and buy bigger "stuff" because they feel that they "need" to. It's amusing and sick at the same time.
Today, it just all clicked. I love my husband, Bill and I adore my son, C. My stepdaughter J will probably never have the relationship with us that we so desire, but life is what it is. We may not be rich financially but we certainly don't need to act like we are. And, to anyone who feels like they need to "keep up", who are you keeping up with?
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Rituals...
I am slowly, but surely, learning the importance of having rituals to remember my late brother. He passed away 6/5/06 after a 7 year battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis. Yesterday was his birthday.
Greg's favorite birthday dinner was steak, baked potao and apple pie (no cake) for dessert. My husband and I have kept up this tradition every year on his birthday, as have my parents. This being the 4th birthday without him, the day almost seemed like another holiday that we celebrate. We made sure to have steak, potato and even though we somehow forgot the apple pie, we celebrated the happy memories of Greg (aka "Snooze"). In past years, we would watch his favorite movie, "The Cutting Edge", but since the New Orleans Saints were playing, we felt Greg would be okay with us watching football
The moral of the story? Even though life may throw tragedy in your way, you don't have to dwell on the sad times. Time DOES heal your wounds...and rituals help.
Even if it's something as simple as steak, potato, apple pie...and "The Cutting Edge"...any small ritual helps you cope and move on to the happy times
Greg's favorite birthday dinner was steak, baked potao and apple pie (no cake) for dessert. My husband and I have kept up this tradition every year on his birthday, as have my parents. This being the 4th birthday without him, the day almost seemed like another holiday that we celebrate. We made sure to have steak, potato and even though we somehow forgot the apple pie, we celebrated the happy memories of Greg (aka "Snooze"). In past years, we would watch his favorite movie, "The Cutting Edge", but since the New Orleans Saints were playing, we felt Greg would be okay with us watching football
The moral of the story? Even though life may throw tragedy in your way, you don't have to dwell on the sad times. Time DOES heal your wounds...and rituals help.
Even if it's something as simple as steak, potato, apple pie...and "The Cutting Edge"...any small ritual helps you cope and move on to the happy times
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Can you really be friends for life?
I met this girl, let's call her "M", in high school and we quickly became friends. I wouldn't necessarily say she was my absolute best friend in high school, but I was hers, I think.
After high school, M and I continued to stay in touch and our friendship grew. I was her Maid of Honor and she was my Matron of Honor at my 1st wedding. But, M dances to a much different drum than I, and while I have always respected and thought it was great that we had these differences, it is causing a strain. At least for me anyway.
Most recently, due to the popularity of Facebook, we have re-connected with several high school friends. For M, this apparantly was a godsend. She re-connected with a former boyfriend/friend and the two apparantly would spend most of their work-day chatting online or talking on the phone. Nevermind that they weren't getting any work done...it was affecting M's marriage...to a great guy. After a period of time of M spending way too much time with this old boyfriend and realizing her marriage may be in trouble, she called me for help. I spent over two hours on the phone with her explaining that her husband was jealous and even if she didn't think she was doing anything wrong by being friends again with C, it was causing issues in her marriage. Personally I just wanted to come right out and tell her that she was having an affair and she needed to stop what she was doing, but was it really my place??
The conversation turned, briefly, to the topic of divorce. M mentioned she would never "do that" to her kids. Um, what? I am divorced and have a child...does this mean I've "done that" to my child? I am not even really sure what "that" is, but I am guessing it is not good. I was quite hurt by her comment, but tried to let it roll off my shoulder...it's not working.
How do you tell someone you've know for over 20 years, that's not a relative, how you really feel about what she said? I don't and I've been avoiding her. I am pretty sure at some point I will need to deal with this.
Of course, the other side of the story is that I really do not feel like talking on the phone at the end of the day and my new job really does not have any downtime during the day to allow a personal phone call. So, I am pretty sure she gets it that I am avoiding her...I just don't know how to take the next step.
with out losing a friend...
After high school, M and I continued to stay in touch and our friendship grew. I was her Maid of Honor and she was my Matron of Honor at my 1st wedding. But, M dances to a much different drum than I, and while I have always respected and thought it was great that we had these differences, it is causing a strain. At least for me anyway.
Most recently, due to the popularity of Facebook, we have re-connected with several high school friends. For M, this apparantly was a godsend. She re-connected with a former boyfriend/friend and the two apparantly would spend most of their work-day chatting online or talking on the phone. Nevermind that they weren't getting any work done...it was affecting M's marriage...to a great guy. After a period of time of M spending way too much time with this old boyfriend and realizing her marriage may be in trouble, she called me for help. I spent over two hours on the phone with her explaining that her husband was jealous and even if she didn't think she was doing anything wrong by being friends again with C, it was causing issues in her marriage. Personally I just wanted to come right out and tell her that she was having an affair and she needed to stop what she was doing, but was it really my place??
The conversation turned, briefly, to the topic of divorce. M mentioned she would never "do that" to her kids. Um, what? I am divorced and have a child...does this mean I've "done that" to my child? I am not even really sure what "that" is, but I am guessing it is not good. I was quite hurt by her comment, but tried to let it roll off my shoulder...it's not working.
How do you tell someone you've know for over 20 years, that's not a relative, how you really feel about what she said? I don't and I've been avoiding her. I am pretty sure at some point I will need to deal with this.
Of course, the other side of the story is that I really do not feel like talking on the phone at the end of the day and my new job really does not have any downtime during the day to allow a personal phone call. So, I am pretty sure she gets it that I am avoiding her...I just don't know how to take the next step.
with out losing a friend...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
creating a habit
okay, it's Tuesday night and I'm sitting down to blog. this feels good. I almost feel like Doogie Howser sitting down at the end of a long day to "journal" on my computer. The difference being I am 38 and don't live with my parents..that and I am no genius.
Work was good today, I feel like I made some headway on some claims that felt like they were just kind of "sitting". Sometimes that happens though. We need so many pieces of the "puzzle" to make a liablity decision that sometimes those pieces take longer than we would like. It just is what it is...
On a much much funnier note, Ned called me this afternoon to relay another funny Cameron story. They were at the Saints game a few weeks ago and were waiting in line for a pretzel and a coke. Cameron said, "Dad, you have to take off your hat." Ned was not sure what Cameron meant until Cameron pointed out the sign at the pretzel vendor that said "all caps must be removed before taking Coke into the stadium".
that's all...
Work was good today, I feel like I made some headway on some claims that felt like they were just kind of "sitting". Sometimes that happens though. We need so many pieces of the "puzzle" to make a liablity decision that sometimes those pieces take longer than we would like. It just is what it is...
On a much much funnier note, Ned called me this afternoon to relay another funny Cameron story. They were at the Saints game a few weeks ago and were waiting in line for a pretzel and a coke. Cameron said, "Dad, you have to take off your hat." Ned was not sure what Cameron meant until Cameron pointed out the sign at the pretzel vendor that said "all caps must be removed before taking Coke into the stadium".
that's all...
Monday, September 21, 2009
third day in a row...
Maybe this will actually become a habit again!
Just a lot on my mind today. There are some people I have met in recent years who don't seem to "get" the whole "life is short, love those around you" mentality. I. Don't. Get. It.
I remember Greg, my brother, and I used to fight all the time. He was always wrong in my eyes. He almost always forgot my birthday. We rarely spoke on the phone.
but...
I miss him so much it hurts.
It hurts that I have to sit by and watch someone I love be the one who never seems to do anything right because they didn't do something the way someone else thought the should have. I know, I am writing in code a little bit...just to protect the guilty.
A long time ago, well, not THAT long...I let myself get into a controlling relationship. I am watching someone I love go through this and unfortunately, I cannot get involved and it is killing me. I don't get how controlling someone can be. Well..wait, yes I can. With me and Greg, I was very much the organized, orderly one and because of that I have my own OCD, control-freak tendencies. But life has taught me to lighten up a bit because there are so many things in life that are just not worth getting keyed up over.
Also, being in a controlling relationship myself showed me that no one should ever let themselves be treated in a way that makes them feel like an inferior person. Unfortunately, in the case I saw today, the damage is permanent and irreparable. very.very.sad.
My wish for all siblings, husbands, wives, parents, friends, etc.....LIFE IS SHORT...GET OVER IT.
good night.
Just a lot on my mind today. There are some people I have met in recent years who don't seem to "get" the whole "life is short, love those around you" mentality. I. Don't. Get. It.
I remember Greg, my brother, and I used to fight all the time. He was always wrong in my eyes. He almost always forgot my birthday. We rarely spoke on the phone.
but...
I miss him so much it hurts.
It hurts that I have to sit by and watch someone I love be the one who never seems to do anything right because they didn't do something the way someone else thought the should have. I know, I am writing in code a little bit...just to protect the guilty.
A long time ago, well, not THAT long...I let myself get into a controlling relationship. I am watching someone I love go through this and unfortunately, I cannot get involved and it is killing me. I don't get how controlling someone can be. Well..wait, yes I can. With me and Greg, I was very much the organized, orderly one and because of that I have my own OCD, control-freak tendencies. But life has taught me to lighten up a bit because there are so many things in life that are just not worth getting keyed up over.
Also, being in a controlling relationship myself showed me that no one should ever let themselves be treated in a way that makes them feel like an inferior person. Unfortunately, in the case I saw today, the damage is permanent and irreparable. very.very.sad.
My wish for all siblings, husbands, wives, parents, friends, etc.....LIFE IS SHORT...GET OVER IT.
good night.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
post #97
and...posting a second day in a row. Not too shabby considering we drove three hours to see Bill's daughter today, then three hours back home.
It was a good day, for the most part anyway. Bill's daughter still has brain damage and has a long way to go before she could ever really take care of herself. I mean, she can dress herself, feed herself, etc. She just does not remember what she did 5 minutes ago. She does not get upset or frustrated, but you can tell she knows she should remember.
Cameron's dad called to say he thinks he sold his house and he actually asked permission to move into an apartment until they are able to move into their new house. Um, really? I wonder what would have happened if I actually said no. I mean, the town they live in is just fine, it's not like they were moving to the projects. About halfway through the phone call I realized he was actually looking for approval from me. Interesting...
time to finish my usual Sunday cleaning and head to bed :)
It was a good day, for the most part anyway. Bill's daughter still has brain damage and has a long way to go before she could ever really take care of herself. I mean, she can dress herself, feed herself, etc. She just does not remember what she did 5 minutes ago. She does not get upset or frustrated, but you can tell she knows she should remember.
Cameron's dad called to say he thinks he sold his house and he actually asked permission to move into an apartment until they are able to move into their new house. Um, really? I wonder what would have happened if I actually said no. I mean, the town they live in is just fine, it's not like they were moving to the projects. About halfway through the phone call I realized he was actually looking for approval from me. Interesting...
time to finish my usual Sunday cleaning and head to bed :)
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